I would like to be a poet

Jonatan Segen

Jonatan Segen

Poeta recién llegado
I would like to be a poet.

I want my words to fly around you,

and touch you without even being heard.

Surround your mind and make you feel

like you can be me for a moment.


To put love and loneliness in a little chest

so I can always be there for you.

That after you see my lines on a paper,

when your mind is fully opened to let mine get in,

you will have, me, next to your presence,

breathing in and out,

getting deeper into your soul.
 
Última edición:
Hola,
Me gusta la escena que quieres crear con este poema, pero creo que tendría mejor ritmo si agregaras unas cuantas comas para no cometer “run ons” que son muy comunes al escribir en inglés
Un abrazo
 
Jonatan Segen dijo:
I would like to be a poet.

I want my words to fly around you,

And touch you without even been heard.

Surround your mind and make you feel

Like you can be me for a moment.


To put love and loneliness in a little chest,

That I can always be there for you.

That after you see my lines on a paper,

when your mind is fully opened to let mine get in,

You will have, me, next to your presence,

Breathing in and out,

Getting deeper into your soul.
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Well, my dear friend Jonatan Segen, you really are already a poet. Your romantic poem is very cute.
I only suggest that you use your English grammar, including punctuation marks, properly.

With my congratulations, a big and fraternal hug,

Ulpiano
 
Última edición:
Poeta del Mes Premio destacado a la Poética clásica Premio destacado a la Poética clásica Escritor Activo Recomendado NUEVOS TALENTOS
Thank you so much for your kind words, my friend Ulpiano. I sincerely apologize for my grammar mistakes, I really need to work on that.

Cheers.
 
Hi Jonatan,
I am glad you’re here, welcome to mundo poesía.

I was staring at the date you joined us, and brother, sooner than you think, instead of saying weeks, it will be saying two years. You’ll be surprised!

I read your poem and Loved the ideas, it is sweet, and word by word, like a love song,
but kindly, I would suggest a change on one your words. First paragraph, third line, word “been” to being.

Respectfully
Fidel Guerra.
 
Poema rescatado Recomendado Estrella ROJA por ME GUSTA recibidos Recomendado Mención Especial Escritor Activo NUEVOS TALENTOS
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